Though I Walk Through The Valley of The Shadow of A Volcano...

Yesterday (I wrote this on October 21, 2011) I went on the biggest adventure of my life thus far (You know…except for the whole moving to Guatemala for 3.5 months thing…). We were in Antigua, Guatemala for our mid-trip debrief and so a few of the girls and I decided to go on a hiking tour of the Pacaya Volcano. I almost didn’t go, but I knew I would regret it if I didn’t. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

We arrived at the start of the tour and there are a ton of boys around the age of 10 all trying to get us to rent their walking sticks. They were relentless, as were the men trying to rent horses to ride up and down the volcano. I refused both options and started the hike up the hill. I didn’t make it very far before my asthma kicked in and my lungs began to burn. I didn’t want to give in and get a horse, but one of my teammates haggled with them and got the price of the horses down to a quarter of the price so 4 of us ended up riding horses up and down the volcano (which was really cool because I’ve never ridden a horse before!)

We made it to the top of the volcano and it was the coolest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. It was so cold and really foggy (I’m pretty sure we were in the middle of a cloud), but every once in a while the sun would peak through the cloud and all we could do was marvel at God’s beauty. While up there we got to crawl through this little cave that was SO warm inside and then we got to roast marshmallows on the volcano!

Well, this is when our adventure took an interesting turn. We realized that the sun was setting while we were at the top and we knew it wasn’t long before we wouldn’t have any light at all to get back down the volcano. We kept trying to tell our tour guide that we needed to go and that it was getting dark, but all he kept saying was that the horses have better eyesight than we do (that wasn’t very comforting to me let alone the people who didn’t have horses).

By the time we made it back to where our horses were, it was pitch dark. We were at the mercy of our guides and horses. I could barely make out the silhouette of the man guiding my horse and so I definitely couldn’t see the rest of the group.

As I clutched the saddle with all of my might as we descended the steep volcano, all I could do was pray: “Dear Jesus, keep us safe. Give us steady feet. Give our horses steady hooves. Make the horses and the guides see as if it were daylight.” I was so scared I almost began to cry but I continued to lean on my Jesus for comfort, security, and safety.
Crazy enough, God showed me that even though I can’t see ahead of me, He can. Although I was really scared, I knew that He was going to take care of us. I’m going to make more of an effort to rely on the fact that even though I can’t see my next step in life, Jesus can and will guide my feet.

Obviously, we made it down safe and sound and even though it was the scariest day of my life, I got to experience something not everyone gets to. Not only that, but I did so with some awesome Godly women and I got to experience a reliance on God that I never have before.

Debrief: De-Funk

Warning: My team is not the same team we used to be.

I fully believe that God is moving and that the second half of our trip will look competely different from the first half.

The last few weeks have looked pretty dark around our house. We have fallen into this funk of more complaining and ministry has become more of what we have to do rather than what we get to do.

We are at mid way debrief in Antigua, Guatemala right now and this is exactly what we needed. When we arrived we found out that a couple World Race teams are staying at our same hostel! They have only been on the race for about 2 weeks and so their fresh look on ministry and this journey is definitely what we needed. I got the opportunity to talk to a guy named Ryan and he was telling me how this is his home now. He doesn't have an apartment, a job, or any stuff back in the states, so this is his life and his home now and that he gets to minister and work for the Lord rather than having to. That really spoke to me and the Lord pressed on my heart that I needed to talk to my team about this.

The next night we had a night of worship and afterward Joel was prompted by the Lord to ask if anyone had anything on their hearts and I knew that that was my que. I told everyone that we needed to, as a team, realize that our words are powerful and that speaking with such negativity will only continue to bring us down and that when we go back to Puerto Barrios it doesn't have to look the same way as the first half.

As the evening went on, I heard a lot of people say that they felt the same way and I feel a concensus that we are all going to be more intentional with ministry, our attitudes, and pouring into each other. Please be praying for us as we start this second leg and that God will make Himself known.

Mi Amigo Nacho

Back home, all of my friends know that I have a deep desire to adopt children once I am married and settled. That decision came about around five years ago. My friend and I were talking about how many kids we wanted to have and surprisingly he said none. I was so confused because I want to have 10. He then said some of the wisest words I have ever heard: “Why would I bring more kids into the world when there are so many out there that I could give a good home to.” Those words went straight to the core of my heart.
Now, let me tell you about my little friend Nacho. Nacho is a little boy that I met at the Special Needs School that we go and visit every week. He is an adorable 6 year old boy (but is the size of a 3 year old) who likes to cause trouble (I don’t know how many times I have had to wrestle my glasses away from him), has a contagious laugh, and who has stolen a piece of my heart. I look forward to seeing him every time we go to the school.
Well, a couple weeks later we visited my favorite ministry site, the orphanage, for the first time. Going to the orphanage already makes my heart sad, but when I saw my little amigo Nacho running around there, my heart broke. I know I don’t know the circumstance as to why he is at the orphanage, but to think that this little boy whom I care about very much doesn’t have a family to love him, to tell him how special he is, and to cultivate the potential he possesses makes me ache to be a part of a family who will do that for God’s children someday.
Through that ministry, God confirmed what was stirred up in my heart so many years ago; I am supposed to adopt, love, and care for children that are not mine. Clearly, this is not going to happen any time soon, but I do believe that this is a part of His plan for me and I cannot wait.

Skyscraper

Here are two of my awesome teammates, Joel and Amanda, singing Demi Lovato's "Skyscraper." They are too awesome!

Lo siento. No entiendo.

This is a phrase I have become very familiar with here in Guatemala. “Lo siento. No entiendo.” Translates to “I’m sorry. I don’t understand.” I haven’t had one conversation with a local that does not include me saying this at least once. The communication barrier has been a huge struggle for me. Like I said in my last blog, how am I supposed to share Jesus with the Guatemalans if I can’t communicate with them? I just keep thinking to myself, “If only I could ask this question, then I would know how I could pray for them specifically” or “If only I knew their background, then I could show them love better.” I attributed my inability to share the gospel with the fact that I don’t understand the language.

Now…Get ready for this next revelation. As I was having this conversation with myself, the next question that popped into my mind was, “If the language barrier is why I feel incapable of sharing the gospel here, what is my excuse for when I’m back home?” Ooh…Ouch. Thank you, God, for that reality check.

Before leaving home, I had a conversation with a friend about missions and sharing God’s word. She was saying how she didn’t think she could be in missions because she gets too scared sharing God in her own town. I told her that it seems to be easier to share Jesus when you’re out of your comfort zone because you don’t have anyone to impress. Lately, however, God has been teaching me that I don’t have to impress anyone and all I need to worry about is loving and following Him. Yes, I may step on some toes. Yeah, I might be labeled around town as the crazy, Christian girl. But, really, what does that matter if I am following the King of Kings.

When I get back home, I am going to make a conscious effort to share Jesus when the opportunity presents itself. If someone needs prayer, I’m not just going to tell them that I’ll pray for them; I’ll stop what I’m doing and pray for them right then and there. It may not be acceptable by the world’s standards, but my God created the world and wants me to live apart from the world.